- where do I go from here -

you know , I hate when people talk about lost love. how they want us all to pity them. because , they seem to not know what real love is. & maybe thats what everyone thinks now. maybe they all think I dont know what real love is. I think they are wrong. love isnt about being in fantasy mode. I wasnt. there were problems . there were mistakes & heart break. but there was also good times. God, he means the world to me. I mean , i never fought for him to stay. Because someone once told me that if something truely ment something to you , and it happened to slip away. let it go. because if they return, you know it was all worth it in the end. and if they dont , then you know it was neevr worth it. he called. me told me he misses me. he wanted to think about us . he's been thinking about me. does it mean he's coming back ? i dont know. sometimes i wish, because I love him. he will NEVER understand just how much i do. no one will . people tell me all the time he is so bad for me. but hes not. ive learned so much from him. i miss the fights, the laughter, the smiles,EVERYTHING. id give all i had to be in his arms again. maybe one day he will stumble across this post. maybe, one day, he will realise & come home ...