Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
- Dear Mother -
It's been a while now, and I still dont know how to start. I guess I can start by saying I regret. I regret not having the realtionship with you that I know we should have - could have - had. I know you've tryed, and I know I've held back. I know that I havent always been the best daughter. I want you to know I regret leaving all the times I have. And I regret saying hurtfull things to you.
Theres just so much that wants to come out right now , I just really dont know how to put it into words.
I've realized. I have realized just how much you sacrificed for me , and for chantale and andrew and tanner. I realize how much you've had to give up, and how much you've been hurt. I realize that you always put us first, even when we were blinded by our selfish ways. I am old enough now to understand this. Sometimes I forget, I admit. Sometimes I dont realize how much I hurt you by neglecting all you do. But I want you to know you have the upper hand , and you always have . You have always been the better person. And that one night when you told me you regreted not being a better mother, it truely made my heart shatter. Because it wasent true. You havent been anything near that. You've done all in your power to assure the wellbeing of myself and my sinblings no matter what. Although I hated seeing men come and go out of your life, I knew it was a learning lesson in your life you needed to take. We all need it. I just would have thought by now you would have learned the true characteristics of "the perfect man" for you (haha). Point is, I hate seeing you hurt. And I hate seeing you being pretty much abandonned by these selfish, good for nothing humain beings that know nothing about sacrafice, love, compassion, HONESTY. You are a person who thinks more about others then yourself, and I've noticed that once you try and do something for yourself, something bad tends to happy. And you know why ? I think its because your not capable of trusting yourself with yourself. You need to learn to be able to appriciate yourself more, and realize all that you are worth. You dont need other people to notice it, although most of us do. Point Blank, You give so much and ask so little. I aprreciate that.
In the end , I guess all I really needed to say was thank you. For everything. I I one day hope to be half the women you are.
I love you Mom.
Theres just so much that wants to come out right now , I just really dont know how to put it into words.
I've realized. I have realized just how much you sacrificed for me , and for chantale and andrew and tanner. I realize how much you've had to give up, and how much you've been hurt. I realize that you always put us first, even when we were blinded by our selfish ways. I am old enough now to understand this. Sometimes I forget, I admit. Sometimes I dont realize how much I hurt you by neglecting all you do. But I want you to know you have the upper hand , and you always have . You have always been the better person. And that one night when you told me you regreted not being a better mother, it truely made my heart shatter. Because it wasent true. You havent been anything near that. You've done all in your power to assure the wellbeing of myself and my sinblings no matter what. Although I hated seeing men come and go out of your life, I knew it was a learning lesson in your life you needed to take. We all need it. I just would have thought by now you would have learned the true characteristics of "the perfect man" for you (haha). Point is, I hate seeing you hurt. And I hate seeing you being pretty much abandonned by these selfish, good for nothing humain beings that know nothing about sacrafice, love, compassion, HONESTY. You are a person who thinks more about others then yourself, and I've noticed that once you try and do something for yourself, something bad tends to happy. And you know why ? I think its because your not capable of trusting yourself with yourself. You need to learn to be able to appriciate yourself more, and realize all that you are worth. You dont need other people to notice it, although most of us do. Point Blank, You give so much and ask so little. I aprreciate that.
In the end , I guess all I really needed to say was thank you. For everything. I I one day hope to be half the women you are.
I love you Mom.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
- French Class -
Hello :)
so I am in french class at the moment. I am with my wonderful besties Amber & Chrissy :) ! I should be working , thats for sure. But , I'd rather not. haha ,
Today was fun ! Our school went to the mall to watch a movie in French. It was really sad because it was about a little boy who had cancer. I cried a lot .
Im working tonight :) !
And then I'm going out with ma bestie Tasha :)
anyways, I'm out for now , peace :)
so I am in french class at the moment. I am with my wonderful besties Amber & Chrissy :) ! I should be working , thats for sure. But , I'd rather not. haha ,
Today was fun ! Our school went to the mall to watch a movie in French. It was really sad because it was about a little boy who had cancer. I cried a lot .
Im working tonight :) !
And then I'm going out with ma bestie Tasha :)
anyways, I'm out for now , peace :)
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